Co-parenting can be a complex journey, especially when it comes to making decisions regarding your children’s well-being and shared responsibilities. In this Reddit post, a parent seeks advice on whether they would be justified in denying their ex’s request to take their child on vacation. Here’s the full story.
A Hasty Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) and her ex are both in their early 20s. They first connected through a common friend a few years ago. And they began as friends but soon hit it off into a romantic relationship.
They hastily decided to live together, and they welcomed their healthy and beautiful child last fall.
However, at around the halfway point of the pregnancy, things got difficult.
OP’s ex-partner is not a great parent, and they frequently fought over their responsibilities toward their child.
Not Pulling His Weight
He would be gone for long periods, and missed major events, and had little experience raising a child.
OP had discussed his actions with their common friends. After hearing what OP’s ex had done, the friend claimed that he was a bad father because of his behavior. Plus, her ex’s own aunt expressed to OP her dissatisfaction with the effort he was making as a father.
So they decided to split custody of their child.
70/30 Custody Arrangement
OP has primary custody of their child under a 70/30 custody arrangement.
They began discussing how they would divide up their child’s time among them more than three months ago.
OP made an effort to stay focused on what was best for their child, ensuring that they had a relationship with their father that was always healthy and protected.
They also talked about trips during these exchanges and decided that each of them would be able to take two weeks off annually.
The specifics they hammered out after that initial meeting did not change, and they were to be finalized later.
Now, over a month has passed since their last hearing. During this, it was decided that they would each give each other a deadline as to when they planned to take their vacations.
Prebooking Vacation Time
The first draft of the agreement, which established the deadline, was delivered to them two weeks later. Although there wasn’t much time, OP didn’t think it was a problem because she had been preparing for it.
They clarified a few more points and got the last version of the contract a week before the due date.
OP’s ex was advised of OP’s plans and the dates she would be away.
However, her ex gave a tardy reply, saying that due to financial constraints, he would not be able to take his vacation. This was constantly confirmed.
However, he later learned that he could take a week off. He acknowledged that he missed the deadline and asked if OP would still let him take a week. So OP told him she would consider it.
He Wanted to Take a Vacation After the Fact
OP spoke with her family and friends, and they were divided.
The majority advised OP to let him take the trip because it will improve OP’s appearance at their next hearing.
The other half has advised OP not to because it appears that he did not make an attempt to organize his vacation until the very last minute, and it could set a pattern given that he could have received this knowledge before the deadline.
Now OP is split in her view, and she took to Reddit to ask for opinions. Redditors were also divided in their opinions.
One Reddit user said that OP is wrong, and unless her ex is abusive or something, they don’t see why OP can’t flex on this.
Another Redditor wrote, “Unless you already had your vacation planned there’s no good reason to interfere with your child going with their father. Co-Parenting isn’t about asserting dominance or authority which it sounds like you’re doing.”
A third Reddit user-supported OP and commented, “Not saying he shouldn’t have tried harder to confirm his vacation dates, and you do have the right to say no, but part of the best interest of the child involves working out issues big and small that affect the child without going to court or causing unnecessary turmoil in everyone’s life.”
So what do you think? What is your opinion regarding the situation?
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The post She’s Refusing to Let Her Ex Take Her Son on Vacation, After All He Failed to Notify the Court by the Official Date first appeared on Wealthy Living
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Source: Reddit