This is the story of a woman who became unhappy in her marriage, she mistreated her husband, divorced him and now wants him back. Has she really learned her lesson though?
A Married Couple
They were together for 8 years, which was mostly good, and they have 4 kids. Right around 5 years ago, the woman got a promotion at work, and it got into her head that their ex-husband was dragging her down.
They never had a lot of money, but with the promotion, she was now making more than her husband.
She started working longer hours, and her husband’s hours were cut, so he was at home more.
She Started to Resent her Husband
The Original Poster (OP) began to resent him because he was home and spent time with their kids.
Most nights when she got home, the kids were already getting ready for bed, if not already sleeping.
After a few months of the new job, it was clear that things were not going well at home without her there. Some nights the dishes weren’t done when she got home, or the kids hadn’t eaten, or whatever else she could think of to be mad at their husband about.
It didn’t matter. Her husband kept saying he would try harder, but that it was hard to be home all the time. That always made her mad.
It Was Only Getting Worse
For the next couple of years, things kept getting worse.
OP’s hours weren’t any shorter, and her husband was on and off full-time.
There was no convenient time for her husband to work full-time because of her hours, but they also needed the money.
Whenever her husband told her he could get extra hours, she would always complain. The fewer hours he worked, the more she complained he wasn’t bringing in enough money.
Whenever he brought up the contradiction, she would tell him he needed to figure it out.
She Was Trying To Get on His Nerves
She knew it would bother him, so she started saying that a lot and for everything she could.
OP started to resent her husband more and more and pulled away from him.
She knew it was hurting him, but she didn’t care. If he didn’t want to be hurt, he would at least try to make her happy.
She used that same thing to justify when she started talking to another guy at work. She thought he was just a friend, but talking at work turned into texting at home and then pictures and videos, and then trying to sneak some alone time with him.
Her Eyes Started to Wonder
She knew it was wrong, but it made her feel so alive, and her husband had not made them feel like that in years. She was tired of being unhappy and doing this for herself.
The worst was the night OP came home at a reasonable time and found her husband had cleaned the whole house, cooked the whole family dinner, and picked out a movie for all of them to watch together.
This would have made her swoon a few years earlier, but that night she couldn’t even look at him, and she pretended to be sick. She spent the rest of the night in bed, while her ex-husband waited on her and checked on her.
He even made her different food and brought it to her in bed. It made her feel terrible, and then it made her angry that her husband made her feel that way.
He Was Caring for Her While She Thought of Somebody Else
By the end of the night, she was texting with the other guy.
Over the next month or two from that night, it did not matter what her husband did. He was wrong just for breathing most days.
He would get so upset with how she treated him, and she would just wait and egg him on into losing it because she knew it would happen eventually. After most of the fights they had, he would apologize.
This went on for a long time until OP was so confident in her opinion about their marriage that she contacted a lawyer and filed for divorce within a few weeks.
She Filed for Divorce
She sought validation and encouragement from various websites to proceed with the divorce. The process went smoothly, as her husband did not ask for much besides reconciling.
However, she felt free after the divorce and enjoyed her newfound independence.
Despite the initial excitement, she soon realized she struggled with household tasks and missed their children, who appeared unhappy.
Her eldest child knew about the messages exchanged with another person and was aware that her ex-husband still wanted to reconcile.
The children wanted to live with their father, and OP tried her best to make them happy by buying them toys, but the happiness was short-lived.
She Needed Her Ex-Husband’s Help
She had difficulty balancing work and parenting alone, resulting in her asking her ex-husband for help. To her surprise, her ex-husband was always willing to assist and even did house chores while the woman was at work.
She started to see her ex-husband in a different light and felt guilty about her actions, especially after going on a date that left her feeling overwhelmed with guilt.
She eventually sought therapy, realizing her mistakes and faults. The therapy sessions revealed that the ex-husband was a great husband and that she was wrong to seek divorce.
She had said and done terrible things and deprived their children of having a great father at home. She approached her ex-husband about reconciling, but he was reluctant and expressed his hurt and mistrust toward them.
She regretted their actions and acknowledged their mistake in seeking a divorce, and is now seeking advice.
What Redditors Said
One user said, “I love how the high of divorce lasted only until she realized no one was doing the chores for her.”
Z-eldapin wrote, “My heart is just breaking for this man that she completely destroyed for fun.”
Another exclaimed, “The worst part is she didn’t actually learn anything. It’s still ME ME ME. At no point does she mention trying to make amends or support his need to heal. Instead, she just reopens wounds by asking him to get back together.”
What do you think? Does she deserve a second chance, or should the husband get as far away as possible? What would you say to her?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / El Nariz. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.