Weddings can be a huge source of stress and drama, especially when it comes to guest lists. This is the dilemma this woman faces. She’s not sure if she should invite her fiancé’s sister to their wedding. They have a rocky relationship.
A Troubled Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) and her relationship with her fiancé’s sister haven’t been smooth.
OP said that her sister-in-law never expressed a desire to be friends with her after they first met, which OP was okay with. But after some time, the two became friends, things stopped being awkward, and discussions weren’t forced.
They Lived Together
After four years together, OP, her fiancé, and their two children moved in with her fiancé‘s relatives, where her sister-in-law also resided with her kids.
During the year they lived together, OP and her sister-in-law significantly relied on one another and developed an incredible bond. They essentially helped one another in parenting their children by taking care of school drop-offs and pick-ups, bedtime rituals, etc. OP says they really did make a good team.
Then things became rough when OP and her sister-in-law got into a fight over OP’s comment that she didn’t feel comfortable with her sister-in-law’s husband, a drug addict, remaining at the house with all of their children.
They Offended Each Other
Her sister-in-law made some offensive remarks about OP’s spouse before telling her to “[back] off” and that OP could leave if she didn’t like it.
OP’s fiancé told her to forget about it and let it go, and OP did so. But more problems started to arise.
One problem was when her sister-in-law no longer wanted a mattress that OP’s kids had slept on and peed on. She wanted OP to pay her full price to replace it.
After OP declined to pay the full amount, she started yelling and threatening her.
Their Relationship Was Spiralling
When OP told her fiancé about the problem, her sister-in-law said, “I hope you rot in hell,” and a few more curses. Her fiancé argued with her in response.
Later that evening, she came over and apologized to OP’s fiancé while crying to him but never offered OP an apology.
As a result, OP’s fiancé told OP to move on and that she should pay her the whole amount saying, “She needs the money.”
This caused tension between OP and her fiancé because OP couldn’t understand how he was okay with his sister disrespecting them in such a way.
They Couldn’t Reach a Resolution
After many fights, OP reached out to her sister-in-law to ask for an apology so OP could let go of the situation, but her sister-in-law said she was done with them and didn’t apologize for her actions.
Currently, OP and her fiancé are organizing their wedding, and OP made it clear during the invite list that she didn’t want her sister-in-law to attend.
OP explained that it was only because their wedding day is a very private occasion that is intended to be about just the two of them and their happiness and that she thought rudeness has no place at a wedding.
She’s Holding Strong With Her Boundaries
Although OP recognizes that she is his sister, her fiancé has chosen to marry her, and OP doesn’t feel that she should be required to disregard her boundaries, put up with disrespect, or worry about conflict with her on her wedding day.
OP took to Reddit to ask whether she was wrong for her actions.
One Redditor said OP is not wrong and that it’s her wedding day, and she must be surrounded by people who are happy for her and love her.
On the other hand, another Reddit user disagreed and wrote, “You would only be a jerk if your fiancé wants his sister there. You may not like her being there, but it’s his wedding too, and if he wants his sister there, he gets to have his sister there. Now, if you guys act like adults and talk it out, maybe you can come to an agreement that suits you both. The fact that you technically started the rift between you with the comment about her spouse suggests that maybe you are responsible for all the drama.”
So what do you think? Was OP right, or is she making a pointless drama?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.