This newly engaged couple is having a tough time making wedding plans, their families come from religions with differing ideas.
Newly Engaged Couple
After five years in a relationship, a woman (29F) and her fiancé (29M) got engaged. They decided to delay the wedding planning process, as she was preparing for the bar exam and did not want to get distracted from her studies.
The Original Poster (OP) always dreamt of being married in a Catholic church and had never had any major celebrations in her life. Her fiancé’s father however held a high position in a different church. His position was equal to that of a priest.
With this in mind, OP gave up her dream of a church wedding and instead opted for a destination wedding, knowing her fiancé’s father did not want them to get married in their church because it would be inconvenient for everyone.
The couple had not discussed the wedding plans until the fiancé’s father suggested that if they were getting married by a Catholic priest, it would be better if they just did a civil wedding.
This suggestion hurt the woman, and she got upset and angry, telling her fiancé that his father should not decide for them. He was not the one getting married and was not even contributing a penny to the wedding.
OP and her fiancé’s father did not have a good relationship, as he refused to accept her friend requests, always ignored her during gatherings, and talked badly about rich people while looking at her.
An Insecure Father-in-Law?
Her fiancé suggested it might be because his father was insecure, as their families had a significant financial difference, and her parents provided them with the house they lived in, his car, and gold jewelry.
Her fiancé accused her of disrespecting his father, and OP told him that his father disrespected her first by disregarding her beliefs and crushing her dreams when he suggested they have a civil wedding.
Her fiancé then accused her of always wanting to get her way and being controlling. He also argued it would be embarrassing if people found out that the son of a “priest” got married under the Roman Catholic faith.
OP wanted her fiancé to acknowledge the pain she felt when her beliefs were disregarded and her dreams crushed, but he accused her of not accepting his religion and wanting to convert him to their faith.
The couple could not agree, and OP suggested having a civil wedding with just two witnesses and no family members invited. She later began to question if she overreacted and wondered if she was the one at fault.
What Redditors Thought
One user said, “The role of religion in your lives should have been discussed during your 5 years of dating. What religion will you raise your children under? This seems much bigger than the wedding.”
Rega_lazar coldly put, “Do not marry this man, you two are not compatible.”
What do you think? Does dating someone who doesn’t have the same faith automatically create drama? Could they work through this?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Axel Bueckert. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.