A Reddit user asked the community if they were in the wrong for calling out their stepmother for making belittling statements and acting like a bully.
Her Stepmother Is a Bully
The Original Poster (OP) believes that her stepmother, who is married to her father, exhibits narcissistic behavior.
While growing up, OP’s stepmother consistently found covert ways to belittle her and draw comparisons between her and her biological cousin and nephews.
In her stepmother’s eyes, OP’s cousin was the favored child who could do no wrong, and OP was constantly instructed to emulate her cousin’s behavior and personality instead of being true to herself. Consequently, OP experienced heightened self-consciousness and shame in the face of failure.
A Family Visit
During the past Thanksgiving, OP visited her family, and her cousin decided to join them since she was studying nursing at a nearby school. Throughout the visit, OP’s family showered her cousin with praise and attention while completely ignoring OP.
Despite OP’s achievements in pursuing a graduate degree in math, her cousin’s nursing studies seemed to be more celebrated.
The night before Thanksgiving, OP and her family gathered in the kitchen, and her stepmother began praising her cousin and their life choices. Her stepmother then turned to OP and made a disparaging comment, stating that she would never make as much money as her cousin in her lifetime.
Would Never Be Like Her Cousin
In response, OP informed her stepmother that many professors in her department make six-figure salaries, which was a fact that OP had personally verified. However, her stepmother continued denying OP’s assertion and told her she was wrong.
OP told her stepmother that it was unfair to compare her and her cousin solely based on their potential earnings rather than the fact that they both aspired to help people through their respective professions.
Despite OP’s objection, her family members remained silent and failed to address her stepmother’s bullying behavior. Frustrated with the lack of support, OP retreated to an upstairs room to continue working on her schoolwork.
She Removed Herself from the Argument
Later on, her stepmother approached her and asked if she could be of any assistance. OP declined the offer and returned to her work. However, her stepmother persisted in instigating an argument by accusing OP of mistreating her father and being disrespectful.
In response, OP expressed that her stepmother’s behavior had embarrassed her in front of the family and ruined yet another visit for her.
OP confronted her stepmother, calling her a bully, and comparing her behavior with the girls who tormented her during high school. Her stepmother appeared taken aback by OP’s statement and ran downstairs crying.
Her Stepmother Was Upset by the Accusation
However, OP later reflected on the situation and questioned if she had acted poorly. She acknowledged that her stepmother had been subjected to severe bullying in her own past, including having dead animals stuffed in her parents’ mailbox and being called vulgar names.
OP recognized that it was unfair for her stepmother to take out her pain on her when she had no involvement in those past events. Nevertheless, OP questioned whether it was appropriate to make the comparison.
What Redditors Said
Several Reddit users have commented on the situation, with the majority agreeing that OP is not the jerk in this situation.
They believe that the stepmother instigated the situation and was acting like a bully and that the comparison made by the OP was valid. Some users pointed out that the stepmother’s behavior is not excusable just because she was bullied in the past and that it is important to stand up against abuse.
Others questioned the validity of the stepmother’s claims of being bullied and suggested that she may be lying or exaggerating. Some users also criticized the OP’s father for not standing up for them and allowing the stepmother’s behavior to continue.
Overall, the consensus among the commenters is that OP did the right thing by standing up for themselves and should not feel guilty for doing so.
What do you think? Was OP’s behavior justified?
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The post She’d Been Bullied by Her Stepmother for Too Long and Was Tired of Always Being Compared to Her “Perfect” Cousin first appeared on Wealthy Living
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Source: Reddit