A Reddit user asked if they were in the wrong for calling out their boyfriend for forcing her to pay for all of his essentials, even when he has his own money.
He Quit His Full-Time Job
The Original Poster (OP) explains that her boyfriend (38M) quit his full-time job over a year ago because he didn’t enjoy it. He currently works a two-hour cleaning job at night that pays him enough to “barely get by,” as per his words.
OP revealed that her boyfriend’s sister (49F) has recently returned from overseas and is presently living with him. The sister is unemployed and shares no interest in finding a job.
OP’s boyfriend covers all her expenses and supports her, despite how he manages to do so is unclear. This situation disturbs OP as she feels her boyfriend is taking advantage of her and freeloading off her.
He Supports His Sister, While She Supports Him
OP provides an example of how her boyfriend subtly takes advantage of her by asking her to place his groceries in her cart while shopping and paying for them together.
OP admits to being apprehensive about having a financial disagreement with her partner as he has previously displayed oversensitivity and gets offended easily during such conversations.
Therefore, she agrees to his requests without any further discussion. However, as a result, she has two outstanding tabs that he owes her. Once, when she sent him an Excel sheet of the breakdown, he mocked her and made an offensive comment by referring to her with name-calling.
He Is Sensitive About Finance
OP mentioned that her boyfriend stays over at her apartment every weekend, and even before his sister moved in with him, he would never invite OP to his apartment on weekends. She believes this behavior began after he quit his job.
Although she is not entirely sure, she thinks that he might want to spend time at her place merely to take advantage of her cable and food so he doesn’t have to use up what he has at home.
OP speaks of having spoken up after a recent trip to the grocery store. Her boyfriend bought his sister shampoo and a candle and paid for them himself. However, he placed his groceries in OP’s basket.
She Asked Him to Pay Up
As her boyfriend was leaving her apartment, OP took his food out of the freezer and asked him to reimburse her. He responded in a whiny, joking tone, saying, “I am poor!” OP replied, “Clearly, you’re not that poor if you can afford to buy candles for your sister.”
OP’s boyfriend became angry and accused her of being nasty after she made a comment about him buying candles for his sister despite owing her money. However, OP is fed up with the situation and feels that it is becoming absurd. She wonders if she was in the wrong for making that comment. Nevertheless, her boyfriend still has not paid her back.
What Redditors Said
Reddit users overwhelmingly agree that OP is not the Jerk in this situation. They are critical of OP’s boyfriend for being a freeloader, an anti-Semite, and generally unpleasant.
One user stated, “I hope you see this relationship is going nowhere. He’s been happy to be unemployed for over a year. He keeps a job that only pays him enough to get by. He’s relying on you to feed him and his sister. Then gaslights you to convince you to keep doing it and stop questioning it.”
Some suggest that OP should end the relationship, while others suggest setting boundaries with her boyfriend and no longer paying for his groceries.
Many commenters express surprise that OP has stayed with the boyfriend for so long despite his negative behavior.
Some speculate that the boyfriend may be married to his supposed sister or otherwise hiding something from OP.
Overall, Reddit users encourage OP to prioritize her well-being and happiness and consider ending the relationship if necessary.
What do you think? What should OP do now?
The post Her Boyfriend Has a Way of Getting Her to Pay For Everything, Now She’s Had Enough of His Freeloading first appeared on Wealthy Living
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dean Drobot. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit