In a heartfelt Reddit post, a young woman shares her struggle with her family’s expectations and the cultural norms that prioritize male heirs. Here’s the full story.
A Big Family
The Original Poster (OP) is a 23-year-old who is living with her family, including her father, stepmother, three sisters, aged 24, 21, and 6, and one brother, aged 9.
OP’s parents took a loan and bought the home they are living in. Since they were unable to obtain another loan, OP took one to help them with the renovation of the house, and they assured her they would pay it back themselves. OP will help them pay back the loan as soon as she graduates.
OP’s problems started when her 50-year-old mother, who lives in another house, told OP that she wouldn’t be getting anything out of the house.
Only a Son Can Inherit the House
She told OP not to get her hopes up because, according to their religious beliefs, only the son is entitled to inherit the house, while daughters are expected to marry and make their own households. This revelation led to a heated exchange where she expressed her concerns about gender inequality within her family.
OP has been telling her parents for years that she had no intention of getting married or starting a family in the future, so she didn’t have any plans to leave the house.
OP’s 21-year-old sister also expressed the same idea as their mother, and then OP asked her stepmother about it. Even she told them that, based on their religion, that is how it is. Although it is up to their father, and she doubted he would leave the children without anything.
She Wouldn’t Repay the Loan for a House She Could Never Own
OP informed her that she would not spend her entire life repaying a loan, leaving her sisters with nothing while her brother is favored solely due to his gender.
She continued by saying she preferred not to sell the property, and as long as they all were given their part, then she would have no issue if the house was sold.
Then a few days later, OP’s father told her that she should be ashamed of not considering marriage. He had also been enquiring about her graduation date. OP said the same as always, “1 year,” to which he replied, “You seem to never finish school.” Since then, OP’s father and stepmother have been “pressuring” her to find a boyfriend.
Her Father Claims They Don’t Help With Chores
Plus, OP’s dad was angry with OP and her sisters for not helping out more in the house and claimed they were ungrateful.
OP says her exams are coming up, so she’s been focused on studying. So she informed him that she and her sister had obligations. He said it was [rubbish] because OP and her sisters both sleep until 12 pm and then study when they should be up at 8 am studying and then helping.
OP says she takes care of her siblings, cleans the house, and also does the cooking.
She Feels Suffocated
Now OP is stressed, and every time her stepmother and father are in the same room, she feels suffocated.
She took to Reddit to ask for opinions, and several Redditors showed their support for OP.
One Reddit user wrote, “It sounds like your parents do not [care] about your wants and needs. You need to focus on yourself and do what you need to give yourself the best opportunity for success. Sometimes religions stifle growth for backward reasons. I wish you the best.”
Another Redditor commented, “You need to do what’s best for you, and if you’re giving them money that you won’t get back (since they say you’re not getting any part of the house), then you might as well move out and pay rent somewhere that you can do whatever you want.”
So what do you think? What would you do if you were in this situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Benzoix. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.