Recently a woman posted on Reddit seeking relationship advice. Her story is a sad tale that many people will be able to empathize with.
A New Relationship
Meet our storyteller – a 23-year-old woman who can’t believe what’s happened. Her boyfriend has ghosted her. She’s heartbroken and doesn’t know what to do.
They’d been together for over a year, and things were going so well. She can’t understand why he would just disappear without a word.
They met on Bumble two years ago and agreed they weren’t ready for anything serious. The original poster (OP) had trust issues, and she wanted to work on them before committing to a relationship.
However, they saw each other regularly, and she would stay over at his apartment two days a week. They became close and shared personal things about each other.
He was like her best friend. They loved making breakfast together, making dinner, watching movies, and just enjoying each other’s company.
Defining the Relationship
Eventually, they began to talk about the future and where they would end up. OP asked him if they should define their relationship.
They had a conversation, and they both had feelings for each other. They hadn’t even seen any other people since they met.
He even said that he loved her, and she was so happy to hear it because she felt the same. They became official in January of 2023.
However, their relationship wasn’t without its challenges. He wanted to see her more often, but they lived an hour apart from each other, depending on traffic.
He worked as an engineer and had a job that sometimes made it difficult for them to see each other. Despite these challenges, they were happy with whatever time they got to spend together.
An Impromptu Visit
Recently they haven’t seen each other in about a month. OP had recently gotten comfortable with driving on the freeway, so she was excited to tell him she could drive to him.
Since he left his apartment last May because of a rent increase, it’s been hard to visit, but they’ve stayed at hotels or her apartment whenever possible. His apartment used to be 20 minutes away from her, so it was a big change.
Now it’s April, and the last message he sent her goes like this: “Hey, baby. Finally off Night Shift. Now I have to stay up all day.” She replied and asked if they were switching his schedule.
Sometimes they would only give him a single day to switch his sleep routine, which would stress him out. That was last week on Wednesday.
It’s not uncommon for him to message her a day or two apart since their schedules are very different. They usually sent picture updates of what they were doing to keep in touch.
However, Saturday rolled around, and she found it unusual that he hadn’t messaged her. She messaged him, asking if he was free this week so she could drive to him for a date. Silence.
Eventually, on Tuesday, she told him she was concerned about him and asked whether he could update her. Again, silence.
She was really worried, so she just called him. It rang twice and then went straight to voicemail. At this point, she was freaking out, thinking he got into an accident or got hurt somehow.
She messaged him on Instagram and Snapchat, which they don’t use to communicate much, but she wanted to be safe.
He read her messages in about an hour, and she immediately noticed that she couldn’t see his profile on either Snapchat or Instagram. That’s how she knew he was fine, but he decided to ghost her.
He Ghosted Her
She feels silly for even being worried. She feels dumb for trusting someone who told her they wanted to be with her. They talked about marriage and kids and moving in together.
They didn’t even fight; in fact, they never had a fight. When they began to date, they agreed that they would communicate any issues and work on them together.
OP has some of his clothes that he needs back and some other personal items she needs to return. Her friends say that she should wait to return them, to give her time to heal, but she doesn’t want to be that ex-girlfriend who doesn’t ever return their things.
She wants to take the high road and be mature about it. She’s planning on just dropping his stuff at his doorstep.
She doesn’t want to talk to him – if he wants to be a coward, that’s fine, but she knows she deserves more respect than this. She’s unsure how to proceed, hence her post to Reddit asking for advice.
What Redditors Said
Reddit users were sympathetic to her plight. One user offered this advice, “Put all his stuff in a box, put it outside, and send him a letter saying where it all is and how long it will be there for (rubbish pick up is Friday, better hurry).
Hey, he’s not answering his phone… What other choice do you have?”
What do you think about this story? Should she just return his belongings, or is he not worth her time?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Krakenimages.com. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.