Recently a Reddit user found herself arguing with her sister, who had decided on a child-free wedding. She has no choice but to bring her child, and if she can’t, she will not attend. Here’s the full story.
A Single Mother
The Original Poster (OP) is a 25-year-old single mother living with her 6-year-old son. Recently, her 28-year-old sister sent out an invitation to her upcoming wedding.
OP was welcomed as a regular guest rather than a bridesmaid or maid of honor. Since they live in different states and being in a bridal party obviously requires a certain degree of commitment and effort, OP says she understood the situation.
OP wants to see her sister get married, and she wants to be there for her.
It’s a Child-Free Event
The problem for OP is that wedding will be a child-free event. So OP can’t attend as she needs to be there to care for her son while he’s not in school. Spending hours away from home isn’t really an option for OP at the moment.
Additionally, the wedding is out of state for OP, so she would have to travel, which would require her to leave her home for at least two whole days. With everyone she knows invited to the wedding, she will be unable to have family care for her son.
She also doesn’t really have any friends who will watch her kid for two days.
Can She Bring Her Son?
She asked her sister if she could bring her son to the wedding, explaining that he couldn’t be left alone at such a young age and that OP didn’t have anyone to babysit him. She replied that she would not make any exceptions to her rigorous “no children” policy.
Once more outlining her difficulty, OP said she would need to arrange for child care and inquired as to whether she would foot the bill for her to hire a nanny or babysitter to watch him.
Her sister was angry and said that “children and weddings are both parts of life” and that OP should “just figure it out. It’s her kid, her problem.”
A Firm No
OP felt angry and also hurt, but she says that is undoubtedly true. Her sister was making it difficult for OP to attend her wedding by refusing to let OP bring her child.
As a result, OP informed her that she wouldn’t be attending her wedding until she paid for OP’s child care.
Then her sister used the words “ridiculous” and “entitled” to describe her and said that she shouldn’t be required to pay for OP’s child and that being an adult entails understanding how to handle situations of this nature.
OP says that money is scarce for her and that childcare costs are high. She replied to her sister that the majority of people would just let her bring her 6-year-old to the wedding, and she can’t magically afford to pay someone to watch him.
OP left the call, and sometime later, her family started to call and confront her about the situation.
OP says her sister not paying didn’t make her angry, but her complaining about her to their parents behind her back did. She told them, “OP doesn’t want to come to the wedding,” and turned the family against her.
It’s an Entitled Request
Now OP took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong for what she did, and thousands of comments poured in with split views.
One Reddit user said that OP was wrong and wrote, “You would have been justified in declining but assuming it’s your sister’s responsibility to pay and asking makes you a [jerk]. Childfree weddings most certainly are a thing, and this is your kid, so it’s your responsibility.”
Another Redditor pointed out that OP was not wrong and commented, “You can’t afford to travel interstate for two days and pay for childcare. You tried to reason with your sister first and explain the impossibility of it, but instead, she has shamed you. She has shamed you for not making enough money to afford childcare.”
So what do you think? Was OP wrong for what she did? What would you do if you were in this situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Ljupco Smokovski. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.