In a recent Reddit post, a user found herself at a crossroads, unsure if coming out to her religious mother would ruin their relationship.
She Was Raised in a Strict Home
Sarah, a Trans woman in her 30s, was raised in a conservative household.
Growing up in a divided household—split between a military environment and a conservative Christian setting in Texas—she acknowledges that neither was an ideal nurturing environment for a transgender child.
She Learned to Accept Herself
Now an adult, she has reached a point where she can accept herself and has made the firm decision not to turn back.
She Wants to Share It With Her Mother
She longs to share her true self with her mother while she is still alive, but apprehension lingers about how her mother will react.
She Is in Fear
She fears that revealing her true identity may jeopardize their relationship, which she has become increasingly protective of due to recent losses in her family.
Her Mother Is Not Trans Friendly
However, attempting to gauge her mother’s opinion on transgender people, Sarah found her mother’s stance difficult to pin down.
On the one hand, her mother claims to be “live and let live,” but she recently defended a controversial bathroom bill in Florida on a Facebook post made by Sarah.
She Is In Doubt
This left Sarah uncertain whether her mother’s support for the bill stemmed from being a Republican or if she harbored negative feelings towards transgender people due to her religious beliefs.
Sarah also noticed her mother aligning with anti-LGBTQ+ measures being passed in Florida.
Her Mother’s Words Used to Hurt Her
When discussing Trans people, her mother uses dismissive language like “transitioning their gender or whatever,” which was disheartening for Sarah to hear.
Considering her mother’s mixed messages, Sarah found it increasingly frustrating to hear her candid thoughts on transgender individuals.
She Made Her Decision
As a result, Sarah made a difficult decision not to come out to her mother.
Can’t Trust Her
She no longer feels she can trust her mother to react positively or be supportive.
She Thinks It Will Work Out Eventually
Instead, she believes her mother needs to come to terms with her identity independently.
Mother Eventually Discovers the Truth
When her mother eventually discovers the truth, Sarah says she will be ready to discuss why she chose not to disclose her gender identity earlier.
She Is Thinking of Starting Her Transition
She plans to begin her transition without informing her mother, knowing that their physical distance across the country will prolong the discovery.
Is Withholding Information Wrong?
She took to Reddit to ask whether she would be in the wrong for withholding this information from her mother and several Redditors sided with her saying she was not wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “You have to protect yourself sometimes, even from your nearest and dearest, which can mean not revealing your true self when you know there won’t be a good outcome.”
Her Mother Sounds Homophobic
Another Redditor commented, “Regardless of whether your mom has some bigoted beliefs (which it really sounds like she does), you are never under any obligation to ever out yourself to anyone.
Especially not if that person has participated in behavior that suggests that they are not someone with whom you would be safe if you disclose.”
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