A stepmother recently confessed to feeling overwhelmed by how tough her role in her new family has been on her. Her story is tragic, but it may be relatable to a lot of other stepparents out there.
Step-Parenting Challenges
Our storyteller has been struggling for a while now, ever since she became a stepparent.
She knows what people will say; that she knew what she was getting into when she married a man with kids.
But that’s not entirely true. She didn’t know just how isolated, rejected, and bullied she would feel.
In a Good Place
When she met her now-husband, she was 34, a single parent to a teenage daughter, and had just earned her master’s degree.
She had also lost a lot of weight and was in the best place she had ever been mentally and physically.
Married With Kids
They dated for two years before getting married and moving in together.
Soon after, they had a daughter who is now 5.
Her husband’s children from his previous marriage were 4 and 7 at the time.
Raising His Children…Alone
Her husband works a lot, and he seemed to have his kids quite a bit, but she knew that going in.
What she didn’t know was that she would end up spending more time raising his children than being alone with her husband!
Throw in a Terrible Mother
To make matters worse, the kid’s mother is a nasty piece of work who has “bounced from man to man, putting her needs before her children’s.”
She has six children by five different men and has been in a multitude of relationships since the original poster (OP) has known them.
Expects Them to Pay
The mother drops the kids off at their house every weekend and vacation without clean clothes or toiletries.
The mother expects OP’s husband to not only pay child support but also buy clothes for them every time they come over and pay for their extracurricular activities.
Influencing the Kids
The mother tells her children that they don’t have to listen to OP because she’s not their mother, even though she’s the one looking after them 90% of the time they’re there.
She told the kids that OP needed to mind her own business when it comes to their visitation and that as she’s only a stepmom, she doesn’t get a say about visitation or the kids listening to her when they do come.
He Knows the Truth
OP’s stepson, who is now 15, seems to understand that his mother is not the best, and he doesn’t cause too many problems.
The Stepdaughter Takes the Cake
But her stepdaughter, who just turned 12, is a different story.
She cries, whines, manipulates, and is rude to OP.
She takes things OP says and twists them to tell her mother, which then starts a barrage of colorful texts to her husband.
No Big Deal
When OP tries to talk to her husband about it, he acts like she’s just complaining and doesn’t see it as a big deal.
He doesn’t want any issues and is glad to just sweep this toxic behavior under the carpet.
Feeling Depressed
Our storyteller is depressed, and it’s getting worse by the day.
She’s struggled with anxiety and depression her whole life and regrets trading her mental and physical health for this marriage.
She’s Struggling
She thinks about how good of a place she was in before meeting her husband, wishing she could rewind time and walk away.
She loves their daughter, who is the best thing to come out of the marriage, but she’s drowning and wants out.
She doesn’t know if it’s worth leaving or not.
Bullied
OP feels isolated and rejected.
She feels like the kid’s mother is bullying her, which is awful. She didn’t sign up for this, but she’s stuck.
Scared to Leave
She doesn’t know what to do or where to turn.
Her husband doesn’t seem to understand how she feels, and she’s scared to leave and uproot her daughter’s life.
A Tough Life
She spends most of her time taking care of her stepchildren, who she feels don’t respect her or even like her!
It’s a tough situation and one that a lot of stepparents will have found themselves in before.
One Last Try
Perhaps she should have an honest discussion with her husband about how she’s feeling and try to make him see that she’s struggling.
But if that doesn’t work, she’s not left with many options.
Looking Our for Her Own
Ultimately, prioritizing her own well-being and her daughter’s well-being should be at the forefront of her mind.
Her daughter needs her to be strong and stable, but the situation she’s in is negatively impacting all areas of her life.
Weekend Visitor
Another option that she could try is to visit her family with her daughter on weekends and avoid seeing the kids and their mother entirely!
She can let her husband deal with his kids, who are his responsibility, and she can safeguard her own well-being.
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The post Anxious and Depressed: Stepmother Spends All Her Time Looking After Her Husband’s Kids…And NO Thanks for It! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Dmytro Zinkevych. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.