In a recent Reddit post, a user shared her struggles of deciding whether to move to a new city or not. Here’s the full story.
Her Home State
Sarah, a 35-year-old woman, has lived in Texas her entire life.
She settled in the suburbs of the largest metro city in the state and has built a comfortable life there.
Her Husband Was Not From the US
Her husband, James, immigrated to the US for college and has been living in Texas since he was 20.
She Had a Close Family
Sarah has a close-knit family, and they all live nearby. She enjoys monthly visits with her parents and sister, maintaining a good relationship while still having the freedom to live her own life.
Her Husband Had a Complicated Family Dynamic
On the other hand, James has a more complicated relationship with his family.
His Extended Family Live in Texas
James came to Sarah’s state for college as his extended family lived a bus ride away from school, and he moved in after marrying Sarah.
His Family Live Overseas
His parents and one brother live overseas, and he hasn’t spoken to his father in over seven months due to their strained relationship. His younger brother also moved to the US for school a few years ago.
Discovering a New City
James’ extended family recently moved to a new city, and during a recent visit, he fell in love with the new city.
The Surprising Request
When he returned home, he told Sarah he wanted to move, but she refused. Since then, he has been accusing Sarah of holding him hostage for not wanting to move.
She Gave Her Reasons
Sarah, however, explained that her entire support system is in Texas, and if they were to move, she would have nobody.
She Needs Her Family Close
She values the proximity to her family and the ability to have unplanned visits or help when needed.
She Cannot Adhere to His Religious Practices
Additionally, James’ family practices a different religion and if they were to live near his extended family, Sarah would have to conform to their religious practices, such as wearing modest clothing.
Freedom and Comfort Compromised
She believes this would significantly impact her freedom and comfort in daily life.
There Were Language Barriers Too
Moreover, language barriers and the feeling of being left out added to Sarah’s concerns. Although she is trying to learn their language, it is not an easy task.
She thinks adapting to James’ family would be more challenging for her than the other way around.
The City Had It Pros and Cons
Surprisingly, James’ desire to move is not solely based on practical reasons. He is drawn to the new city because of its better food places and nicer houses.
However, he acknowledges that the political landscape and schooling options in the new city are not as favorable.
Plus, Sarah’s job has the potential to recall her to the office at any time, although James’ job is permanently remote.
She Would Be Justified Either Way
As a result, Sarah took to Reddit to ask whether she was wrong for refusing and Redditors were split in their views.
Try a Trial Run?
One Reddit user sided with Sarah and wrote, “It would probably benefit you both to find a compromise. Maybe plan an extended stay for where his family is and feel the idea of moving. While having a support system is good, it is also important to know how to be independent and experience more in life.”
An Unpopular Opinion
Another Redditor commented, “This may be unpopular but sometimes you need to change things up a bit. It sounds like the situation is perfect for you but your husband sounds like he wants something different.”
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The post The Battle of Boundaries – A Controversial Dilemma of Love and Location first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / New Africa. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.