A Reddit user turned to the community to ask if they were in the wrong for denying their sister a large sum of money – money which they had saved from their own wedding, having opted for a small event- for her wedding.
She’s Recently Married
The Original Poster (OP), a 33-year-old female, has a younger sister named Jamie, who is 31 years old and recently got engaged. Jamie is currently busy with wedding planning.
When OP got engaged and married two years ago, their parents gifted each of them $25,000 as a wedding present to cover expenses and help them with savings.
However, since OP and her husband had a small wedding ceremony in their parents’ backyard and used her mother’s old dress, they only had to spend money on food and photography. As a result, they were able to save $20,000 of the gifted money and put it into savings.
They Saved Their Money
OP and her husband had a wedding ceremony that they were happy with, but her younger sister Jamie had a different opinion. After the wedding, Jamie constantly gossiped at every family event about how “trashy and cheap” OP’s wedding was.
OP believes that Jamie expected more from her, given that OP works as a software engineer and her husband is a surgeon, and they could have afforded a more extravagant wedding.
OP’s younger sister Jamie is now planning her own wedding and intends to go all out for it.
Although OP does not mind the grandiose plans, she is bothered by Jamie’s behavior as a “greedy bridezilla” who is asking everyone for cash. Even though their parents have already given the original amount of $25,000 as a wedding gift, Jamie is demanding more money from them.
Other family members have contributed up to a maximum of $5,000, but Jamie knows that OP had saved the $20,000 from their parents and that OP and her husband have decent savings due to their high salaries.
Her Sister Wants Her Savings
Jamie, OP’s younger sister, has been incessantly pressuring OP to give her the $20,000 that OP had saved from their parents or to contribute to another one of Jamie’s wedding-related events such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, rehearsal dinner, or honeymoon.
Jamie believes that OP and her husband can easily afford to give her a lavish gift, citing the fact that OP had gifted their cousin a honeymoon vacation as a wedding present last year.
Jamie questions why OP cannot do the same for her, especially since they are siblings.
OP acknowledges that they are financially capable of contributing to Jamie’s wedding, but they do not wish to give her anything after Jamie treated OP poorly following their own wedding.
OP explained this to Jamie, but Jamie has been telling the family that OP is being selfish and immature. Jamie has already put down deposits for many of the services and vendors for her wedding, and she had assumed that OP would help pay for it.
However, Jamie now finds herself unable to pay the vendors or get her deposits back. The family is pressuring OP to help Jamie so that she does not lose any more money, but OP does not believe that it is their responsibility to do so.
OP wonders if she is the one in the wrong.
What Redditors Said
Many Reddit users agree that OP is not the jerk in this situation. They feel that OP’s sister is entitled and has no right to demand OP’s money. Some users point out that the sister received a significant sum of money from family members and should not have planned a wedding outside her means.
Users also comment on the sister’s behavior leading up to the wedding, including her negative comments about OP’s wedding and her requests for money to pay for events leading up to the wedding. They argue that OP is not obligated to give her sister any money and that the sister must face the consequences of her poor financial decisions. Some users suggest that OP’s family should help the sister financially if they believe she needs assistance.
What do you think? What would you do if you were OP?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.