A recent thread on the Am I The A**hole (AITA) subreddit saw a mother asking if she was in the wrong for not letting their daughter move back home.
This mother has three children, two girls aged 25 and 13 and a 16-year-old son. Three years ago, their oldest daughter moved out with her boyfriend, and they got an apartment.
Her daughter had been with her boyfriend for four years before that, and the mother stresses, “it wasn’t like she ran off with some guy she just met.”
The parents supported their daughter’s decision, as she was old enough and working full time. The issue, however, stems from rent.
Since her daughter moved out, the rent in their area has more than doubled.
Recently her daughter’s landlord raised the rent by 40% in 3 months, and they could no longer afford to stay there.
The mother says they weren’t swimming in cash before the rent increase, and they need more to cover initial rent payments on top of a security deposit for a new apartment, not that there’s much in their price range anyway.
Initially, her daughter planned to move in with her boyfriend’s parents for a few months to save money and look for a cheap apartment.
However, her boyfriend’s parents wouldn’t let her move in with them.
So her daughter came to her mother with an idea: she would move back in with her mom, and her boyfriend would move back in with his parents to save money.
She promised she would only be there for six months maximum.
However, this mother talked it over with her husband, and they didn’t feel it was appropriate.
The mother thinks she needs to learn to take care of herself as an adult and stop relying on handouts from her parents.
Her daughter offered to pay rent, but the mother would only agree to that if her daughter were paying the market average plus her share of utilities, which would mean she couldn’t save up like she intended to.
Because her parents haven’t offered her any help, she’s had to move into a two-bedroom apartment that she shares with six other people, some of whom she finds “sketchy.”
The mother says she feels for her daughter but still thinks it’s her responsibility.
The mother ends the post by explaining that this may have impacted their relationship, as her daughter doesn’t call much anymore.
The Reddit community loved DamnGoodOwls comment, which got a huge 70,000 upvotes.
Their verdict was YTA (you’re the a**hole), saying, “Seriously? Your daughter is an adult, but she’s still your daughter? She’s not relying on handouts. She’s offered to pay rent. You’re really gonna charge her the market average to live at home? She even gave you a timeline. I think you’re being unreasonable.”
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They continued, “You completely acknowledge that she was screwed over, but yet you’re willing to let her struggle when you presumably have the space? There’s wanting for her to learn to be an adult, and there’s being unreasonable jerks.”
Financial-Tear-7809 agreed, saying, “And then she has the gall to wonder if it impacted their relationship. Lady, how would you feel if the situation was reversed? You’d better pray nothing similar happens to you cause she’ll probably leave you in the street.”
Another Reddit user, Hyponeutral, said that the mother “sounds like one of those people who thinks the reason young people can’t buy a home is because of avocado on toast and Starbucks. Like, yes her daughter is legally an adult, but the opportunities for adults look completely different now.”
What do you think about the story? Was Mom being reasonable in the situation?