In a recent Reddit post, a concerned sibling seeks advice regarding a sensitive situation surrounding their brother’s upcoming wedding. Here’s the full story.
A Progressive Jewish Family
The Original Poster’s (OP) family, despite being raised in a traditional Jewish household, has embraced interfaith relationships.
All of them, including OP, continue to follow Judaism, but they have all found lasting relationships with non-Jewish spouses.
His Fiancée Is an Atheist
OP’s brother is soon to be wed, and while she hasn’t yet met her brother’s fiancée’s parents, the fiancée is a great person.
Other than “commercial Christmas” (family meal and gift opening), she doesn’t practice any religion and is an atheist.
Her brother has been dating her for a while, and the fiancée’s parents are covering a large portion of the cost of the wedding, which is pretty upscale.
It Will Include Traditional Jewish Elements
OP’s brother revealed to her months ago that they were going to have a chuppah (the canopy under which they get married), stomping on a glass after they were married, and the ketubah (Jewish marriage document) in their ceremony.
Reading in Hebrew
Together, they drafted the ketubah, which was then created and translated into Hebrew as traditional ketubahs are read in Hebrew.
Side By Side Sibling Readings
OP’s brother requested that the ketubah be read aloud by his siblings during the wedding ceremony. While his fiancée’s siblings read the English translation, he wanted his siblings to read the Hebrew text.
Since they chose the language to reaffirm their relationship, OP’s brother claimed it was the most significant aspect of the ceremony to them.
In-Laws Want to Scrap the Hebrew Reading
Things took a turn when OP’s brother informed her through text message a few weeks ago that they intended to change course and forgo reading the ketubah in Hebrew.
It Was Important?
Since he mentioned that was the “most important part,” OP questioned why.
Most Guests Aren’t Jewish
Her brother said that when they went through the rehearsal of the wedding with his fiancée’s parents, they “recommended” that he rethink the ketubah being read because most guests don’t know Hebrew.
Inclusivity Was Possible!
OP said that it was still inclusive because it is being read in English.
But now his fiancée informed him that she didn’t want to do it in Hebrew based on her parents’ comments.
But he still wanted to perform it in both languages.
Accusations of Anti-Semitism
OP’s husband, who is not Jewish, said that this was anti-Semitic because OP’s brother was emphasizing the most significant cultural aspect.
He Insisted it Wasn’t Like That!
OP mentioned the idea to her brother during a conversation, and he became quite agitated and called OP names for even thinking like that.
OP felt bad for saying that, and she took to Reddit to ask if she was wrong.
Several Redditors said that OP was not in the wrong and that the parents were wrong for not respecting traditions.
How is it Not Anti-Semitic?
One Reddit user pointed out that taking an important element out of the ceremony, specifically one that was so culturally important to the groom, sounds anti-Semitic.
Surely the Bride Should Want it Included!
Another Reddit user commented, “I’m not a religious person (raised catholic), but if I was marrying someone that upheld their religious traditions even if they are in a language I don’t understand, I’d still want to participate because it’s important to them.”
She Needs to Stand Up to Her Parents
A third Redditor wrote, “The fact is that your brother wanted to do this, and so did his fiancée. It’s just her parents making it into an issue. She and he should be standing their ground on this, but it’s ultimately their choice if they want to kowtow or not. I don’t think you should push your opinion any further unless he asks for it, but I do think her parents are wrong for trying to change up something about the wedding that they shouldn’t even be involved in.”
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The post Accused of Anti-Semitism – Wedding Plans Dashed When Interfaith Families Can’t Agree! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Prostock-studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.