In a controversial decision, this guy chose to attend the funeral of his ex-girlfriend’s brother rather than the wedding of his current girlfriend. His girlfriend is not happy. This is the full story.
A Committed Relationship
The Original Poster (OP) is a 25-year-old man. He is also a medical resident and has been in a relationship with his 26-year-old girlfriend for 2 years.
OP says he and his girlfriend are very committed and close to getting engaged. They share a wonderful life together and have built a strong bond.
But before his current relationship, OP had another girlfriend, who is now 25-years-old. They had an intense love and amazing connection but eventually realized that they were not compatible for the long term.
It had been a passionate five-year relationship that started when OP was still in high school. The relationship ended on a heated note, and the couple blocked each other on social media and went their separate ways with a lot of hard feelings.
A Secret Friendship With His Old High School Girlfriend’s Brother
His first girlfriend had a brother who was 2 years younger than OP, and the two men remained close even after the breakup. OP even helped her brother prepare for medical school.
But even though they maintained a strong friendship, neither OP nor the brother ever told the ex or her parents that they still spoke.
A week before he posted on Reddit, OP was surprised to see his ex turn up on his doorstep. She delivered the devastating news that her younger brother had been killed in a car accident.
His Friend Was Killed in a Car Accident
That’s when OP told his former girlfriend how close he had been to her brother. She apologized for dropping the bad news on him, not knowing about their close relationship. She was grateful to OP for his role in supporting her brother during his battle with depression.
Then she told OP that she and her family wanted him to attend the funeral. It would be held in their hometown, a 7-hour drive from where OP lived.
She realized it would be a tough trip, so the ex offered to drive OP herself. But she also had to be there 2 days early to help with the funeral arrangements.
Invited to the Funeral on the Day of a Wedding
OP’s current girlfriend arrived home while the ex was still there, and OP explained the situation. Everything seemed fine, and neither woman showed any hostility toward the other, but OP’s girlfriend had some news for him once the ex left.
OP’s girlfriend reminded him that her sister’s wedding was the same day as the ex’s brother’s funeral. They had already promised to attend, and they were going to do just that, she said.
But OP was torn and told his girlfriend he needed some time to think it over. She wasn’t happy about that, but she gave him some space to work things out.
Then, the next morning, his ex’s parents called and basically begged OP to come to their son’s funeral. They told him they were sorry for all the bad blood between him and their family and that they knew their son considered him to be like a brother.
He Had to Choose
The mom and dad insisted that they would host OP on his visit so it wouldn’t cost anything. And they said they really did consider him part of the family.
After speaking with his co-workers and bosses, OP was able to clear his schedule for the weekend in question. He decided he was going to the funeral instead of the wedding.
When OP told his girlfriend about his decision, she was predictably angry. They got into a big fight, and her sister and other members of her family sent him a flood of angry messages.
OP is confident in his decision because he feels like he needs to pay his respects to his dead friend. But he wonders how well his relationship with his girlfriend will recover once he gets back.
Reddit commenters are divided in their opinions of this situation.
Some say that OP has to make the right choice for himself, and they understand the need to say goodbye.
Others agree with OP’s girlfriend that he’s abandoning her to spend time with his ex and her family. They point out that he’d be spending a lot of days alone with his former love during an emotionally charged time of her life.
What do you think? Is OP justified in going to his friend’s funeral instead of his girlfriend’s sister’s wedding? Or should he stick to the wedding, as he promised? And is it OK for him to ride with his ex-girlfriend and stay with her family during his visit?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Mix and Match Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.