This single mother’s question to the Reddit community started a lot of discussion recently. In her post, she asked if she’d acted poorly by telling her daughter the truth about her dad. It’s an interesting story that examines the dynamics in the life of a single mom.
She was a 19-year-old college student when she got pregnant.
The father of her child was also a college student at the time.
Before anything physical happened with him, she made it clear to him that she was pro-life, and if she were to get pregnant, she would not be getting an abortion.
He said he understood, and they went ahead.
Not Taking Responsibility
But when the original poster (OP) got pregnant (despite practicing safe sex), the father refused to take any responsibility and cut off all contact with the child.
To cover his tracks, he even went as far as telling friends and family members that she had planned the pregnancy to trap him!
She Wouldn’t Change a Thing
This was far from the truth.
Though he paid mandatory child support, it wasn’t enough.
Despite the hardship, OP loves her daughter and wouldn’t change a thing.
Her daughter is now smart, wonderful, and her whole world.
He Tried to Reconnect
Recently, the father reached out to OP on Facebook, expressing his desire to be a part of his daughter’s life.
In the 16 years since her daughter’s birth, he’s not sent one birthday card, not once asked about her.
But why now?
As it turns out, his wife has been struggling with infertility, and OP can’t help but feel that he’s only reaching out now because he wants to have a child in his life.
But where was he when she needed him most? Where was he when she was working her fingers to the bone just to keep a roof over their heads? Where was he when his own daughter needed him?
Doesn’t Want Him Involved
OP was against the idea of allowing the father back into their lives, considering the fact that he was absent throughout the formative years of their child.
She Raised Her Daughter on Her Own
OP had to drop out of college, work two jobs, suffer through sleepless nights, and endure the judgment of society for being a young, single mom.
She was the one who provided for their child, while the father had no part in it.
Wants to Settle Down
Now that he is older and finished with partying, has his degree and job, and his wife can’t give him kids, he suddenly wants to be involved with the child she raised.
She voiced her thoughts to the father, but he got mad and told her that she was the one who chose to have the baby, not him.
This was the tipping point for OP.
She asked him to prove that he had previously thought about their child, such as by setting up a college fund or putting money aside for a car.
But he couldn’t provide any evidence, which showed OP that he only cared now because he couldn’t have any more kids.
Couldn’t Have Cared Less
She says she doesn’t think he cares about her daughter because, in 16 years, he hasn’t “once cared to save for her.
He blew all his money from his youth on clubs because he didn’t care about her.”
She Told Her Daughter the Truth
OP spoke to her daughter about the situation, telling her the truth about her father and his intentions.
She made it clear that he had nothing to offer her and advised her to think about it.
In the end, her daughter chose not to get to know him, and that was her decision.
A Furious Reaction
However, the father was furious when he found out that OP had talked to their daughter about him!
He accused her of denying their daughter a father and ruining his chance to know her. OP stood her ground, telling him that he was the one who made the decision to abandon them in the first place.
Influencing Her Daughter
But now, OP’s mother is telling her that she shouldn’t have poisoned her daughter’s image of her father. She said that their daughter probably felt rejected all over again and was likely hurting.
Now, OP feels like she may have done something wrong.
But what was OP supposed to do? Lie to her daughter and pretend like everything was okay? That her father was suddenly the knight in shining armor that she had been waiting for?
She couldn’t do that. She had to be honest with her daughter, no matter how painful it may be.
Protect Your Daughter at All Costs
Reddit users felt for this mother. They understood how tough it must have been to raise a child on her own, especially with how people look down on single moms.
One user said, “You are protecting your daughter from a potentially traumatizing and harmful situation. It is one thing for him to give up parental rights and for it to remain that way, but what he is doing is treating her like she is some sort of trend of the month. What is going to happen when he realizes she is a complex, multilayered human with a lot of thoughts and feelings and likely a lot of negative feelings towards him?”
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The post 16 Years of No Contact – NOW ‘Dad’ Wants to Be Back In His Daughter’s Life! Unbelievable! first appeared on Wealthy Living.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / paffy. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.