A Reddit user posted to the online community to share his story and ask for their opinions about his difficult relationship with his father.
A Troubled Relationship
Ben, a 27-year-old, shares the story of his difficult relationship with his father.
Mother Died During Childbirth
Ben’s mother died giving birth to him, which left his father devastated and blaming him for her death.
Ben Cared for by His Sister
As a result, his father practically gave him up to his sister from the moment he was born.
His Father Blamed Him for His Mother’s Death
As a child, Ben felt hurt by his father’s disregard for him at family events, and as he got older, his father became more vocal about blaming him for his mother’s death.
Impacted His Mental Wellbeing
This had a severe impact on Ben’s mental health, and he often went to church crying because he was scared he would go to hell for “killing” his mother.
Desperate to Be Accepted by His Father
Despite his father’s mistreatment, Ben never stopped trying to be accepted by him.
However, after his high school graduation, his father told him to never bother him again since he legally had no obligation to him.
Moving on With His Life
From there, Ben began to accept this reality and moved on with his life.
His aunt took care of him, and they have a close relationship. However, she doesn’t really talk about Ben’s father.
Ben’s grandparents sometimes mention his father, and that’s how he found out that his father had gotten married.
He Wasn’t Even Invited
He was upset that he wasn’t invited to the wedding, but to Ben, it didn’t matter since he and his father were not close.
His Father Has a New Family That Wants to Connect
However, his father’s new wife wanted to meet him, and he used this as an opportunity to try and reconcile.
Playing It Down
During their meeting, his father played down the reason for their estrangement and suggested it was due to “petty reasons.”
Angry About His Father’s Lies
Ben felt angry that his father was lying about the real reason, which caused him so much pain and trauma.
Setting the Record Straight
When his father’s wife asked why they were estranged, Ben told her the truth about how his father had mistreated him and never acted as a parent to him.
Ben Accused of Trying to Jeopardise His Father’s Marriage
This revelation caused a major fallout, and Ben’s family members were upset with him for potentially ruining his father’s marriage.
They believe that he went too far and that the truth could have been kept hidden.
He Doesn’t Hold Back
However, Ben felt that he couldn’t ignore what had happened to him, and he had to tell the truth.
While he isn’t sure if it was the right call, he couldn’t ignore what had happened to him for so many years.
Was It the Right Call?
Many users agreed and commented that Ben was right in his actions to tell his side of the story.
One user wrote “He should’ve gone to therapy after your mom died. He instead treated you poorly your whole life for something that could have never been your fault. Now he’s facing consequences beyond estrangement.”
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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / TeodorLazarev. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
This post is based on Reddit but the names have been changed.